Monday, February 10, 2014
I am working a corporate nine-to-five job, studying part time, and trying to keep up a busy social life. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling tired and completely exhausted, not enough time in the day to do it all, always rushing from one thing to another, just being kept busy all the time. I have been thinking to myself that I'm giving myself enough time to rest, you know, head to bed early and sleep a good 7-8 hours, meditate atleast once a day, silence my mind before bed and even went on a retreat to relax... the moment I came back from my "retreat" the cycle started again, and I'm feeling like I'm burning myself out slowly. Feeling this way, I realized that I wanted something different, as I am always on edge and not at all calm and its a huge strain on me. I'm simply not happy! I'm enjoying my job, let's make that clear, learning a great deal and there are great career opportunities however I don't know where my enthusiasm has gone to? I have been confusing enthusiasm with throwing myself into action evey spare moment. I'm studying a PR course as my passion lies in that direction of work, as I'm a creative spirit...even that is questionable...someone said I'm more of a designer and or events person...not corporate! I can't keep doing this...I need to slow things down and make changes! And the hardest part is just that MAKING CHANGES. I've been struggling for months about making certain decision especially when it involves losing security as I have bills to pay. So I throw myself in to the cycle again and little by little I'm losing a piece of me. I need to find a way to do what I love as my happiness and well being depends on it! Until then I will work on making small changes to build up to taking that leap of faith.