Friday, February 21, 2014
I have been on a constant search for inner peace and happiness, and like many people I spent a lot of years failing to understand inner peace is a choice. I suppose with constant imbalance and adverse situations I didn't believe that anyone can feel lasting "living" inner peace. There has been a lot of ups and down's in my life, adversities, and all that comes with life... It even crossed my mind a couple of times to join a nunnery or escaping to the himalayas or running away with some peace corp in the mountains to be at peace and shy away from everyday struggles. I always wondered how could I ever find some peace if I'm always going through the drama and the constant feed of negativity from social and all other media, not to mention the negative people around me. The question that always emerged in my mind was how can I achieve inner peace with all the negative emotions and all that's happening around me? That question and the emotional rollercoaster is what urges and fuels me to keep searching and little by little I'm finding peaceful ways to be... I know though, that in eventuality that moment will come when I'm at complete peace inside...and until then the search continues! #Namaste
Monday, February 10, 2014
I am working a corporate nine-to-five job, studying part time, and trying to keep up a busy social life. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling tired and completely exhausted, not enough time in the day to do it all, always rushing from one thing to another, just being kept busy all the time. I have been thinking to myself that I'm giving myself enough time to rest, you know, head to bed early and sleep a good 7-8 hours, meditate atleast once a day, silence my mind before bed and even went on a retreat to relax... the moment I came back from my "retreat" the cycle started again, and I'm feeling like I'm burning myself out slowly. Feeling this way, I realized that I wanted something different, as I am always on edge and not at all calm and its a huge strain on me. I'm simply not happy! I'm enjoying my job, let's make that clear, learning a great deal and there are great career opportunities however I don't know where my enthusiasm has gone to? I have been confusing enthusiasm with throwing myself into action evey spare moment. I'm studying a PR course as my passion lies in that direction of work, as I'm a creative spirit...even that is questionable...someone said I'm more of a designer and or events person...not corporate! I can't keep doing this...I need to slow things down and make changes! And the hardest part is just that MAKING CHANGES. I've been struggling for months about making certain decision especially when it involves losing security as I have bills to pay. So I throw myself in to the cycle again and little by little I'm losing a piece of me. I need to find a way to do what I love as my happiness and well being depends on it! Until then I will work on making small changes to build up to taking that leap of faith.