Monday, August 24, 2009
Its been 2 years
24 august 2007 seems so long ago but it was 2 years only that I lost him & I miss him so terribly.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Random thoughts
I'm still waiting for the person who said "Life is a Breeze" to pop out of their hole & call it bluff. Yes I'm sure it has its quiet moments & life carries on without any speed humps along the way...but once the storm comes it wreacks such havock that getting back on your feet is like a process one never gets through entirely...
I have been hearing alot about the power of positive thinking & attracting what you want, telling the universe what it is you want & it shall be so.....mmmmmmhhhhhhhh,Can someone run that by me again??? Are they being for real? I have read the secret, I have read Iyanla, I have read T.D Jakes, Maya Angelou, Gary Zukov, books & books & books & books, meditation, & also Prayed (God Knows I tried it all)! Where am I going wrong???
I seem to be just going back to square one everytime I seem to progress...NO WAIT...its more like every time I take 2 steps forward, seems like my setbacks take me 4 steps back. It gets so frustrating cause I want so hard to keep my head up, strength up, smiling always, Faith strong & a positive outlook, needless to say that its gets harder every day.
Is my faith being tested? If it is to what extent?
I sometimes think to myself what more could go wrong, I have been through it all, hurt, pain, loss, injury, frustration, being broke, the list is endless, what more do I need to go through before the storm is over better yet I recover from the damage the storm caused?
I have been hearing alot about the power of positive thinking & attracting what you want, telling the universe what it is you want & it shall be so.....mmmmmmhhhhhhhh,Can someone run that by me again??? Are they being for real? I have read the secret, I have read Iyanla, I have read T.D Jakes, Maya Angelou, Gary Zukov, books & books & books & books, meditation, & also Prayed (God Knows I tried it all)! Where am I going wrong???
I seem to be just going back to square one everytime I seem to progress...NO WAIT...its more like every time I take 2 steps forward, seems like my setbacks take me 4 steps back. It gets so frustrating cause I want so hard to keep my head up, strength up, smiling always, Faith strong & a positive outlook, needless to say that its gets harder every day.
Is my faith being tested? If it is to what extent?
I sometimes think to myself what more could go wrong, I have been through it all, hurt, pain, loss, injury, frustration, being broke, the list is endless, what more do I need to go through before the storm is over better yet I recover from the damage the storm caused?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
My ups & downs
Straight to the point...it is not easy out there...
Point is I have been trying to figure out why I have been spared from accident & because I have been consumed with all that I forgot how to live, strange as it is its true. I have been asking God "why" instead of asking Him for wisdom to move on from it all. Now a month later, with me neglecting my growth in life & finding my way through this spiritual journey I am realising that...I almost gave up! or did I?
ha ha ha as cliche as it sounds it is true that once you realise that there is more to life than waking up & following the daily routine. as soon as you do realise there is a lot of test that comes along with it...you are tested in every way imaginable, in your work, relationships & even FAITH...
I think I have found a way to keep & strentghen my faith...its called MEDITATION! and my motto to keep me going in any situation is " BE STILL & KNOW" words that Russ Simmomds keeps on repeating in all his twitter messages, I first thought,"what is this man on about?"
I realised that he was on point, BE STILL & KNOW is one of the verses from the bible(embarrasingly I still have to find it) but thanks to my school days in my catholic school days the hymn suddenly resurfaced...God knows I want Him to walk with me in my journey, I know He is I just have to BE STILL & KNOW...I pray that this approach will not let me wallow in the same darkness I have been lately.
Point is I have been trying to figure out why I have been spared from accident & because I have been consumed with all that I forgot how to live, strange as it is its true. I have been asking God "why" instead of asking Him for wisdom to move on from it all. Now a month later, with me neglecting my growth in life & finding my way through this spiritual journey I am realising that...I almost gave up! or did I?
ha ha ha as cliche as it sounds it is true that once you realise that there is more to life than waking up & following the daily routine. as soon as you do realise there is a lot of test that comes along with it...you are tested in every way imaginable, in your work, relationships & even FAITH...
I think I have found a way to keep & strentghen my faith...its called MEDITATION! and my motto to keep me going in any situation is " BE STILL & KNOW" words that Russ Simmomds keeps on repeating in all his twitter messages, I first thought,"what is this man on about?"
I realised that he was on point, BE STILL & KNOW is one of the verses from the bible(embarrasingly I still have to find it) but thanks to my school days in my catholic school days the hymn suddenly resurfaced...God knows I want Him to walk with me in my journey, I know He is I just have to BE STILL & KNOW...I pray that this approach will not let me wallow in the same darkness I have been lately.
Friday, June 5, 2009
My silence
I have not been active on my blog for a while...
I have been going thrhough a very difficult time, a time that need a new post every day to explain the series of unfortunate events that have been happening & what it has taught me on the daily & what I'm still learning in the process of it all.
All I know is God has great plans for me & I will do all in my power & use my Faith & prayer to reach my purpose in life.
I have been going thrhough a very difficult time, a time that need a new post every day to explain the series of unfortunate events that have been happening & what it has taught me on the daily & what I'm still learning in the process of it all.
All I know is God has great plans for me & I will do all in my power & use my Faith & prayer to reach my purpose in life.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Learning how to tell the truth
I'm reading a book at the moment, I think it's the one thing that is teaching me on how to deal with issues in this journey of mine. I'm going to share on my blog my 40 day process of using the information & what I'm learning from it.
Today I want to share about Truth
My definition - TRUTH IS ETERNAL, THE SAME TODAY AS YESTERDAY.
The truth is, it's hard out there, you have to strive to get what you want. Sometimes you have to clench your teeth & say anything to get your way...small as it may it does catch up with you, one way or the other...remember the saying, "What goes around comes around"...it's true my friends, its Karma, it comes back to bite you.
Ofcourse we all have out little white lies but how innocent are they?
I think even as hard as it may you need to be honest with yourself in order to be honest with others , it will set you free, it will free you from the habitual fears the process of life can impose upon you. It will eliminate the need to be anything other what you already are...DIVINE.
You can't expect thought to start telling the truth unless if you believe in the truth & are open to the truth.
Today I want to share about Truth
My definition - TRUTH IS ETERNAL, THE SAME TODAY AS YESTERDAY.
The truth is, it's hard out there, you have to strive to get what you want. Sometimes you have to clench your teeth & say anything to get your way...small as it may it does catch up with you, one way or the other...remember the saying, "What goes around comes around"...it's true my friends, its Karma, it comes back to bite you.
Ofcourse we all have out little white lies but how innocent are they?
I think even as hard as it may you need to be honest with yourself in order to be honest with others , it will set you free, it will free you from the habitual fears the process of life can impose upon you. It will eliminate the need to be anything other what you already are...DIVINE.
You can't expect thought to start telling the truth unless if you believe in the truth & are open to the truth.
How do you mend a broken heart
All my life I had to come across a painful experience, but there is not one that is as painful as a heartbreak...especially if this one is to do with love...aahh yes the word LOVE!
I've had my heart broken once by losing someone who I loved dearly, I guess I had to deal with that one somehow as there was no way I could bring him back to earth.
This heartbreak is somewhat different, I had moved on...I think...from his death. I found myself someone new,someone who made it seem like it was okay to love again, to laugh again, to be happy & plan the future again. We seemed perfect together, so perfect that I even imagined growing old with him, I thought that meant it was meant to be, or was it.
He left me, he says I deserve someone better, what does that mean. Does it mean I'm overbearing, is my career advance scaring him, is my personality & character towards others making him jealous, am I too outgoing, am I too fun...WHAT IS IT AM I DOING WRONG?
I lost my mind for a moment, I cried me a river, slept less that usual and lost all zest for life. I revolved my life around him, how could he just leave me like that...with a phonecall while I was at work to tell me I wont find him at home?
I asked God why??? then I realised that, the answer is right there, I am very spiritual & this is one of the things that has been written in my destiny...I still couldn't stop crying at the fact that its actually over not because I was less special, I know I am, God has showed me in more ways than one that I am, however it still hurts,I let someone in my life only to lose him again, it opened up old wounds, ones I thought I had burried with his death, what does it mean? I have so many unanswered question, my head is spinning out of control with them.
But I will pull myself together I need time to grieve & to cry...and to thank God for showing me that maybe he is not the one for you. I know HE will not put me in a situation I cannot handle, I just have to ask for STRENGTH, COURAGE & WISDOM, to dust myself & try again.
First I need to heal...that's how you mend a broken heart.
I've had my heart broken once by losing someone who I loved dearly, I guess I had to deal with that one somehow as there was no way I could bring him back to earth.
This heartbreak is somewhat different, I had moved on...I think...from his death. I found myself someone new,someone who made it seem like it was okay to love again, to laugh again, to be happy & plan the future again. We seemed perfect together, so perfect that I even imagined growing old with him, I thought that meant it was meant to be, or was it.
He left me, he says I deserve someone better, what does that mean. Does it mean I'm overbearing, is my career advance scaring him, is my personality & character towards others making him jealous, am I too outgoing, am I too fun...WHAT IS IT AM I DOING WRONG?
I lost my mind for a moment, I cried me a river, slept less that usual and lost all zest for life. I revolved my life around him, how could he just leave me like that...with a phonecall while I was at work to tell me I wont find him at home?
I asked God why??? then I realised that, the answer is right there, I am very spiritual & this is one of the things that has been written in my destiny...I still couldn't stop crying at the fact that its actually over not because I was less special, I know I am, God has showed me in more ways than one that I am, however it still hurts,I let someone in my life only to lose him again, it opened up old wounds, ones I thought I had burried with his death, what does it mean? I have so many unanswered question, my head is spinning out of control with them.
But I will pull myself together I need time to grieve & to cry...and to thank God for showing me that maybe he is not the one for you. I know HE will not put me in a situation I cannot handle, I just have to ask for STRENGTH, COURAGE & WISDOM, to dust myself & try again.
First I need to heal...that's how you mend a broken heart.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Untitled
One does not realise the importance of making a decision & sticking to it. Its so liberating & less stressful to know what you want & how you are going to get it.
It makes you life much easier & less cluttered in terms of having too much on your plate
I BELIEVE IN LISTS!!!
write down all you can, hence we have journals & to do list. I started writing down what I need in my life, from there on I could actually mentally device a plan on how I'm going to get what I need...without writing it down first, treat your life like a niche, a market that you need to find a product to satisfy it...what a great feeling. A step towards your happiness, but be careful not to confuse what you want & need it gets tricky especially if you are still trying to sort out the clutter in your life. My best advice is to make lists.
Here's a thought
Have you shopped without a list? I have, I ended up buying everything else but what I needed, & overspent in the same breath. trick is a list guides you to what you need & you won't even bother to buy that pack of gum while waiting in line to pay...LOL
It makes you life much easier & less cluttered in terms of having too much on your plate
I BELIEVE IN LISTS!!!
write down all you can, hence we have journals & to do list. I started writing down what I need in my life, from there on I could actually mentally device a plan on how I'm going to get what I need...without writing it down first, treat your life like a niche, a market that you need to find a product to satisfy it...what a great feeling. A step towards your happiness, but be careful not to confuse what you want & need it gets tricky especially if you are still trying to sort out the clutter in your life. My best advice is to make lists.
Here's a thought
Have you shopped without a list? I have, I ended up buying everything else but what I needed, & overspent in the same breath. trick is a list guides you to what you need & you won't even bother to buy that pack of gum while waiting in line to pay...LOL
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