Lately...

...I have been feeling so out of sort and out of place in crowds, I was beginning to think I'm becoming antisocial then I realised I'm going through a phase in my life where I need to make peace with my past so it won't screw up my present, to get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful to me so pursue my happiness.
At first I was feeling overwhelmed with loneliness, frustrated by my behaviour and didn't understand what I was going through, then I realised that lately I've been thinking a lot about my past and certain hindrances in my life. Words of wisdom from a friend, made me sit up and take note of what is really happening...I need to clean up!

Since I've started I've been more at ease, more in tune and definitely happier...

Love in a simple form...

What I know for sure....

No matter what happens, God loves me & has blessed me abudantly!

WHAT BROKE MY SPIRIT...

...is how easy it is to let someone know in not so many words that they don't fit a mould that society created! It might sound superficial but emotions have a life of its own, to a point that some people never recover...

I was a victim of discrimination a couple of days back & honestly I don't know how I would have ever recovered from it if I didn't ask around to see if I was alone in this, I realised I'm not, there are so many of us who have to endure a painful rejection because of your colour, your race, your religion, your health status, your appearance, how you speak & where you come from.

It was pointed out to me without out many words that, I'm not worthy of their elite club, I cannot be part of something that was (note I said was) going to be beneficial to me & my daughter because I don't fit their criteria.
THIS IS WHO I AM I CANNOT CHANGE IT...I wanted to scream to her. But she would have heard me anyway, it then struck me that there are so many of us that are not heard, we get shoved aside like pieces of trash...dirty, smelly trash! SMH

I sit here & have so much to say but I cannot put in words...I'm too mad, too upset, too emotional & cannot help but imagine so many years into "freedom of everything" there is still so many changes that need to be made.

Aluta Continua

Its been a crazy couple of months for me...
I buried my father a couple of weeks later I gave birth to my beautiful baby...

I honestly don't know how I coped with all of this in such a short space of time but I know deep down in my heart God was right there next to me to help me carry on...I wouldn't have survived any of the series of events that unfolded...

Now that its official, I'm back I have taken a different direction...I have new thoughts & I have developed a love for journals...I hope I will be able to speak my heart on this blog as I do in my journals...